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Since the late 90's the one and only Mistress Dianna has provided you slaves with her time and very much more as you know! You should know that I am still expecting a symbol of your loyality to me. Even though I am not online now, you are not excused from your finanical requirements! What i want you to do is vist these amatures and watch their shows and learn how great I truly am. Then and only then will I allow you back in my dungeon.
Thoughts on being a good Dominant
A lot of people seem to want authority; they crave the power, the position of control, to be able to exert their will…. But most don’t know how to handle it. Like most people when given unbridled power, they become cruel, harsh, unkind, cold, and distant.
But this isn’t what a Dominant should be. A Dom should be a father, an older brother, a guide, a protector, a teacher. A Dom should ALWAYS have the best interest of the Submissive at heart.
Being a Dom isn’t about canning, whipping, flogging, or ordering people around. They are the requirements of a Sadist and an egomaniac.
Sadism and Masochism are regularly confused with Dominance and Submission. Let me make this clear; they are separate predispositions that may or may not coincide with Dominant and Submissive orientation.
Being a Dominant is about taking responsibility. About stepping up to the plate and saying; “My shoulders are big enough to bear the weight, to accept the responsibility that comes with taking control.”
A Dominant is a leader, a doer not a talker; someone who is willing and ready to provide another person with what they need.
A Dominant needs to know and accept that many Submissives will appear in a manner that the Dom might perceive to be needy. If the Dom isn’t happy to accept the emotional needs of the Submissive, then the Dom isn’t ready to take ownership of a Submissive.
A selfish person can never be a true Dom. They are a child in an adult’s body. A cruel Dom is nothing more than a kid with a magnifying glass burning ants and playing God.
Does this mean that Sadists are bad? No it doesn’t. A sadist is the perfect counterbalance to a masochist. Since many Subs are also masochists, then a sadist Dom will fit perfectly. But when the sadistic Dom inflicts pain upon the masochistic Sub, the primary motivation should be giving the Sub what he/she needs; the pleasure that the Dom gets out of the act must remain secondary.
This rule holds true for all fun D/S activities, whether it be; humiliation, degradation, or sexual acts/intercourse.
The reason that a Dom will control the orgasms of a Sub is because the Sub yearns to be controlled. Not because the Dom selfishly doesn’t want to see the Sub pleasured. The Submissive needs to feel that a reward has been earned.
Submissives will rebel, fight back, be disobedient, bratty, insubordinate, and just like a child they will generally test the limits of the Dominant. This is where the good Dominant shines, he/she won’t feel threatened, and they won’t loose control, or become emotional. This is an opportunity where a Dominant can display why they are in charge, and why the Submissive can trust them with control of their lives.
Correction, discipline, and punishment should be structured, fair, controlled, un-emotive, and relevant. It will reinforce the rules, the need for the rules, and the positions of Dom and Sub. It will give the Submissive what all Subs crave; a feeling of safety within the confines a caring D/S relationship with clear boundaries and rules. Afterwards the Sub should feel a positive sense of purpose and direction, knowing that the Dominant is striving to achieve the absolute best for the Sub.
The D/S relationship needs to maintain balance. For every slap of the hand, swing of the flogger, or stroke of the cane, it needs to be equally counter balanced with a kiss, a hug, a stoke of the hair, and a whisper of a kind word.
A good Dom genuinely wants to see the submissive, grow, and improve as both a person and as a Sub. As such the Dom won’t just use the power granted him/her by the D/S relationship for sexual gains or amusement; they will endeavour to institute rules and instructions that will break bad habits, provide the Sub direction, focus and drive, and generally enrich the life of the Sub.
Not a guide on the one true way: Just some thoughts…….
What makes a good Submissive
This may seem obvious, but it isn’t. Far too many Subs want to pick and choose their submission. What they really want is just a man to take the lead in the bedroom (because they are sexually lazy) and be there to change a tire for them if the situation requires it. They want a 1950’s man, that will hold them, and serve them in the way that a Dominant serves to protect a Submissive and make them feel safe and secure, but they still want to be Germaine Greer when it’s time for them to Submit to the will of their Dominant when it comes to something that isn’t necessarily convenient.
Doing what you already want to do, when your Dom tells you to do it, doesn't demonstrate submission!
Doing something that you don’t want to do or requires real effort is a demonstration of submission.
• A heartfelt respect for the Dominant
Respect is essentially requisite in all successful D/S relationships; it is the foundation. Respect builds trust, and trust is the backbone, the strength of the D/S relationship. The Submissive will always embrace opportunities to demonstrate respect to the Dominant. The Submissive should in all appropriate situations address their Dom using the correct, agreed titles. They should be fiercely loyal to their Dom, but still offer respect to other Doms, acknowledging rank, position, and title, just as they would expect other Subs to do the same toward their own Dominant.
• A sharp Attentiveness
A good Submissive requires attentiveness at her/his core; a quick eye and a keen mind. The successful Sub will be ever observant in his/her peripheral vision, understand exactly what is occurring in his/her environmental surrounds. Where his/her Dominant is and what he/she is doing. What other Doms and Subs are doing and never missing a signal that they should present, should be on-point, or are required for a task.
• A deep Understanding
Just as it is necessary for a good Dom to understand the Submissive mind, so too should a good Sub understand the mind of a Dominant. The Submissive will understand that a Dominant will often be harsh, abrupt, or appear mean. The Submissive will understand that a part of being a Dom is possessing a certain degree of arrogance and ego. This is an essential part of the dominant personality, which allows the Dom to project the confidence that the Submissive found so attractive in the first place.
The Submissive will understand that Doms and Subs have different emotional needs. And although there are exceptions to every rule; Dominant personalities tend to be more emotionally independent. As such the Dom may appear cold at times or require space. The Submissive will understand that this isn’t personal and does not represent dissatisfaction with the Submissive.
The Submissive will understand the love and care that the Dom holds for the Sub, therefore the Sub can give the Dom the space he/she requires, secure in the knowledge that they are still safe within the D/S relationship.
• A genuine commitment to obedience
A true Submissive will strive to be as perfectly obedient as possible to his/her Dominant in all aspects of her life.
A true Dom isn’t going to just give you instructions to suck his dick. That’s what horny losers on Fetlife do.
An actual Dominant with tell you to clean your car because it’s a mess, or clean your room, to do your assignment, or stop biting your nails! Sure this is less sexy, but if you are going to resent instructions meant to enhance or better your life, then maybe you aren't actually a submissive. If the only place you are going to yield to the will of your Dom is the bedroom (when you’re already horny and it seems naughty and exciting), and resent it the rest of the time; them maybe you shouldn't be calling yourself a Submissive, maybe you might want to consider calling yourself a Bottom instead.
• A genuine desire to serve
Being a submissive is more than just being obedient. Obedience is a start point. But obedience is reactive. A good Sub will also be proactive. A proactive sub, looks to serve, and will offer service without prompt. She/he will actively look for ways to serve the Dominant. I good Sub will refill the Dominant’s drink when asked, a great Sub will do it without being asked the second it is empty, or if appropriate, ask if the Dominant if they would like a new one.
A great Submissive wants to serve her/his Dominant as often and in as many ways as possible. If you want to a good example of good or poor service, think about restaurants you have been out to and the difference between poor waiters/waitresses, the good one, and the great ones.
The great ones were proactive and attentive in all ways, without being pushy or intrusive, they read your mind, were in tune with your needs, and gladly serviced them politely, joyfully and respectfully. This is the key to great Submissive service.
• A true and deep desire be shaped and improve
The journey of self improvement for a Dom and Sub are never finished. As the Submissive hopes for a Dominant who wishes to be the best Dom they can be; so too must the Submissive endeavor to become the best Sub they can be.
Not just an acceptable Submissive, or a good one; but a great Submissive deserving of the best Master or Mistress. If a Submissive wishes to improve the D/S relationship, he/she should begin by improving his/her self, thereby inspiring positive change in those around.
For me; a Submissive should be graceful, elegant, well spoken, and well mannered, should have good posture, he/she should avoid profanity in social situations. A highly valued Submissive understands that their behavior is a constant reflection upon the Dominant. Therefore a Submissive should always try and conduct themselves in such a way to bring honor to their Dominant, to their House and to make their Dominant proud of them.